3 Go-To Methods for Successfully Mastering Grooming Skills

Getting a child to complete grooming tasks can be a struggle for all parents, but especially for those with neurodiverse children or who display additional sensory needs.

Brushing teeth, brushing or cutting hair, bathing, and cutting nails all demand a lot from our sensory and motor systems. For instance, tilting your head back to rinse during bathing involves vestibular demands, and brushing teeth presents challenging motor planning and coordination issues. Each of these tasks also involves various tactile and auditory demands that aren't pleasant for anyone!

So, if you or your child are struggling to make it through grooming tasks, what can you do?

While I always recommend seeking out an occupational therapist (OT) to address your specific needs and identify the individual components that are challenging, you can also try these tips that I frequently use and recommend to parents when approaching grooming skills.

1. Take Turns

Everyone’s goals for grooming can look different. Do you want your child to be completely independent with the task, or are you just trying to avoid a meltdown at the sight of a hairbrush?

No matter what your goals for grooming are, taking turns with it is a great place to start. This allows the child to have more control over the activity, which they might typically want to avoid due to the challenging components. However, when they perform the task on someone else it helps them build confidence and get exposure to the sensory stimuli in a situation they can control, rather than feeling that the task is being done to them or forced upon them.

Have the child perform the task on you, or even just having them start with solely watching you perform the task on yourself. Then give them the option to do it themselves or have you help them. While this may not happen immediately, as they become more comfortable with the task, they often become willing and happy participants after seeing it modeled and successfully completed on someone else first.

2. Practice Outside of Your Typical Grooming Routines

Grooming tasks typically happen in a morning rush or at the end of a long day when everyone is exhausted. This can add pressure and anxiety around what you’re trying to accomplish. If you’re approaching it already stressed about getting it done, your child can sense this and will automatically associate the task negatively.

Sometimes the best way to work on these skills is outside of the actual grooming routine entirely, usually in a playful and comfortable setting. Use toys like Crocodile Dentist to practice brushing teeth, get a Barbie Hair Salon doll or use turned-off hair clippers with silly noises to imitate hair cuts, practice tilting your head back while bouncing on an exercise ball or looking at flashlight puppets on the ceiling to help prepare your vestibular system for the demands of washing and rinsing your hair. There are many ways to practice the skills needed for grooming tasks without even setting foot in the bathroom!

3. Make It Fun!

Building on the idea of incorporating grooming into play, making it fun is crucial when trying to teach a child a new and possibly intimidating skill. Fun looks different for everyone, so adapt this tip to best fit your child's preferences.

I've done toothbrush dances (where we both dance the whole time we brush our teeth), created silly songs for brushing hair, and used nail clippers to pop bubbles. There are endless ways to turn a scary or daunting task into something your child will look forward to instead of dreading it daily.

At TeleTots Therapy, we focus on being child-led and play-based. If your child prefers to play with dolls, Legos, or even crayons, our goal is to use those to practice grooming skills.

How do you practice grooming skills with something random (like the previously mentioned crayon)? Pretend play is everything! Use the crayon to “brush” your hair, pretend it's a toothbrush to practice the motions of brushing your teeth, bring out the nail clippers, and pretend to cut the crayon’s "nails” - doing all this will help to get used to the idea of self-care tasks without the pressure of using the actual item. It may sound silly if you’ve never done it before, but it truly works!

Sometimes being silly and unrealistic about the goal you’re trying to accomplish is exactly what the child needs to feel less anxiety around the task and become comfortable with participating in it on their own terms.